Using Formulas in a Word Table

I'm using word '07 & have a table in there that acts much like a roster of
people.

I would like to have checkboxes going down each column & at the bottom row
total the amount of ticked checkboxes.
I tried the formula =IF(C2:C36, "TRUE") & I get a syntax error.

I also would like the total the amount of peoples names in another column.
I tried =COUNTIF(B2:B36, "*")

Are these formulas not allowed in Word? I know they will work in Excel,
but I need to do this in a word doc.

Is there another way to do what I'm wanting to do?

Please help....